1
00:00:07,575 --> 00:00:09,843
Oh, good Lord, woman, what the
hell is that on your face?

2
00:00:09,943 --> 00:00:13,047
It's an Avogena neutral
blemish face mask.

3
00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:14,148
Avogena?

4
00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:15,316
More like Avatar.

5
00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:16,750
Whatever, Tony.

6
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,552
It was 40 bucks
a bottle,

7
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:20,754
and it's supposed to
make you look younger.

8
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,356
I'll give you 50
just to take it off.

9
00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:23,691
Uh!

10
00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:26,860
Please, I know you ain't
talking, Edward Scissor-toes.

11
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,562
What are those?
Talons?

12
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:30,831
You need to get a pedicure
before we go on vacation.

13
00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:32,333
Yeah, what's up with
all them shopping bags?

14
00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:33,901
You buying all the souvenirs
before we go?

15
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:36,036
You can't spend all the money
before we get there, shopaholic.

16
00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:38,206
Or lose it,
no-card stud.

17
00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:39,307
What?

18
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:40,774
Every Friday night
you play poker,

19
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:43,844
and every Saturday morning
you're just a little bit broker.

20
00:00:43,944 --> 00:00:45,313
Oh, you're
a little poet now?

21
00:00:45,413 --> 00:00:48,182
Look, look, look, that's just
what dudes do, okay?

22
00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:51,585
Can't you find something else
to do, like watch sports or--

23
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:53,121
I don't know, something--

24
00:00:53,221 --> 00:00:54,822
at least until we
go on vacation.

25
00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:58,559
Gambling has never
led to anything good.

26
00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:01,962
Woman, I bought this damn house
playing the lottery.

27
00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:03,731
Okay, well-played.

28
00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:05,266
I don't really have
a comeback for that.

29
00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:06,867
But the point is,

30
00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:11,004
either we're going on vacation,
or we're going on vacation.

31
00:01:11,139 --> 00:01:12,306
Yeah.

32
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:13,407
Ow!

33
00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:14,808
Damn, Tony!

34
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:17,911
Now I'm gonna have to
get a tetanus shot.

35
00:01:18,011 --> 00:01:19,147
My bad.

36
00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:21,249
* Woke up and my wife
said to me *

37
00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:23,451
* The bill collectors
want their fee *

38
00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:25,853
* The kids keep talking
back to me *

39
00:01:25,953 --> 00:01:28,055
* Family Time

40
00:01:28,156 --> 00:01:29,890
* Family time, Family Time

41
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,725
* Family Time

42
00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:36,464
*

43
00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:44,272
Lisa talking about, andquot;I don't
want you playing poker.andquot;

44
00:01:44,372 --> 00:01:45,706
Hmph!
I'm a man.

45
00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:46,740
I'm the man
of this house.

46
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,075
I make the rules.

47
00:01:48,176 --> 00:01:50,611
I wear the ultra-cotton boxing
briefs around here.

48
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:52,045
(cell phone rings)

49
00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:53,281
Hey, baby.

50
00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:54,915
Yeah, I was just about to
turn on the game,

51
00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:56,250
since you
made me cancel poker.

52
00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:57,418
Where are you at?

53
00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:58,652
I'm on my way.

54
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:01,355
Girl, a chip trip
do not take that long.

55
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,491
What-- did you make a detour to
one of them shopping outlets?

56
00:02:03,591 --> 00:02:04,992
You-- you know what?

57
00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:07,027
When we get back from vacation,
you're going to shopping rehab.

58
00:02:07,195 --> 00:02:08,329
Okay, now since you
wanna be specific

59
00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:09,997
and know my
every little move,

60
00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:13,601
I was actually dropping off
your dry-cleaning

61
00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,603
and picking up lunch
for your children.

62
00:02:15,703 --> 00:02:16,604
Always with
the excuses.

63
00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:17,605
Did you get the chips?

64
00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:19,072
Yes.

65
00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:20,441
Did you get
the right kind?

66
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:21,442
'Cause you know you
don't be listening to me.

67
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:22,943
Rippled, hickory
and mesquite.

68
00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:24,245
Now with 33 percent more--

69
00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:25,379
(tires squealing)

70
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:26,980
Oh!

71
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:28,782
Baby, what was that?

72
00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:31,952
Uh... uh, uh, insurance
commercial on the radio, baby.

73
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:34,087
I-- I gotta go,
I gotta go.

74
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,326
She'll be all right.

75
00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:39,327
(man)
What the hell?

76
00:02:39,427 --> 00:02:40,861
I am so sorry.

77
00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:41,862
Are you okay?

78
00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:42,963
It's okay,
sweetheart.

79
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:44,798
It's okay, just calm
down, I'm fine.

80
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:45,966
I'm not hurt.

81
00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:47,768
You're all right,
you're not hurt?

82
00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:48,969
Oh, God,
I'm so sorry.

83
00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:51,872
Okay, now,
everything good?

84
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:53,241
Oh...

85
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,253
Finally.

86
00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:06,554
You could say
thank you.

87
00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:07,555
You're right,
you're right, my bad.

88
00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:08,589
But what took so long?

89
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:09,990
I thought I was going to
have to break out

90
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:11,325
the kids' Go-Gurt
and string cheese.

91
00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:12,793
I was in traffic,
Tony.

92
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:13,794
What, what, what's this?

93
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,095
What's this?

94
00:03:15,263 --> 00:03:16,264
You must've been hungry
in traffic or something.

95
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:17,698
Why are they all
broken up and crushed?

96
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,867
What's happening?

97
00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:21,735
Is that--
is that an earring?

98
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:24,305
Girl, is that
blood?

99
00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:25,373
Where are the cookies?

100
00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:27,508
Did-- did you
forget the cookies?

101
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:28,976
Give-- give me the keys,
I'll go get 'em.

102
00:03:29,076 --> 00:03:30,010
My car's out of gas.

103
00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:31,279
Uh-- uh, no, no,
don't worry about it.

104
00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:33,080
I-- I'll go get a new bag
of chips and some cookies,

105
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:34,848
and I'll bring them down
when I get back.

106
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,484
No, no, no, no, no problem,
don't worry yourself.

107
00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:37,518
This is enough,
this is enough.

108
00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:38,919
Okay.

109
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:40,854
Now, why don't you just go
upstairs and take a nap,

110
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:42,356
you know,
till tomorrow.

111
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:43,391
You look like
a wreck.

112
00:03:43,491 --> 00:03:44,392
A wreck?

113
00:03:44,492 --> 00:03:46,294
What wreck?

114
00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:47,395
Huh?

115
00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:49,830
All right, well...
you okay?

116
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:50,964
I'm good.

117
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,300
You good?

118
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,302
I mean, you're acting
a little strange yourself.

119
00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:55,336
No, no.
No, I'm fine.

120
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:56,637
Okay.

121
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,806
All right.
All right.

122
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:13,053
(doorbell ringing)

123
00:04:16,324 --> 00:04:17,558
Oh, hey, cousin Dave.

124
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:18,626
How's it going?

125
00:04:18,726 --> 00:04:19,760
Oh, everything's good.

126
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:21,595
Oh, Lisa, this is
my man, Trey.

127
00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:22,630
Oh, hi.

128
00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,031
Nice to meet you,
Trey.

129
00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:26,334
You must cause allergies
'cause I got hay fever.

130
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:28,969
Hey...

131
00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,638
Don't I know you
from somewhere?

132
00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:31,905
Wait.

133
00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:33,240
Didn't they used to
call you Cotton Candy

134
00:04:33,341 --> 00:04:34,642
at the Century Club
back in the day?

135
00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:37,244
No!

136
00:04:37,345 --> 00:04:38,512
I got it.

137
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,013
Butterscotch.

138
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,383
Yeah, I remember the bowlegged
ones all the time.

139
00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:45,986
No... no, you got
the wrong person, man.

140
00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:47,355
But, uh,
y'all go ahead.

141
00:04:47,455 --> 00:04:48,889
Come on in.

142
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,023
Decided to watch
the big game?

143
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,592
Watch?
What?

144
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:53,126
We came over here
to get paid...

145
00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:54,261
Fantasy football.

146
00:04:54,362 --> 00:04:55,563
Yeah, he's joining
my league.

147
00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,264
It's real complicated,
you wouldn't understand.

148
00:04:57,365 --> 00:04:59,500
Draft day, trade deadlines,
and divisions.

149
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,101
I be getting
confused sometimes.

150
00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:02,135
Mm.

151
00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:03,504
Uh, who,
who this?

152
00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:04,772
Name's Trey.

153
00:05:04,872 --> 00:05:07,240
No fingerprints,
brother.

154
00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:08,476
Okay.

155
00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:10,043
Well, I'm gonna leave
you guys to it.

156
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:13,547
Enjoy the game and, uh,
nice to meet you, Trey.

157
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,182
Likewise.

158
00:05:15,282 --> 00:05:17,050
You know I'm gonna
figure it out, right?

159
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,452
Nice.

160
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:19,953
Nice?

161
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:21,789
Brother, that's my wife,
ain't nothing nice about her.

162
00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:23,090
No disrespect, bro.

163
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:24,658
I just thought I knew her
from somewhere, that's all.

164
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:26,794
No, you don't know my wife
from nowhere, partner.

165
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,195
Dave, sidebar.

166
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:33,166
Who is this unknown negro
you got in my house?

167
00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:34,234
Oh, that's Trey.

168
00:05:34,402 --> 00:05:35,603
He used to be
my roommate.

169
00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:36,970
You remember when I
used to have that one bedroom

170
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,038
over at Rikers Island?

171
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:41,509
Hey, Michael Vick,
we gonna watch the game,

172
00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:43,411
or we gonna huddle and
whisper in the corner?

173
00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:44,412
Huddle?
Let me tackle him--

174
00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:45,913
No, no,
be cool, be cool, be cool.

175
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:48,416
That's just the way
he is.

176
00:05:48,516 --> 00:05:49,717
Look, he's always
clowning.

177
00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:51,652
Plus, y'all got the same
taste in females.

178
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:56,657
Don't get your boy
choked out.

179
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,426
Now, you know I don't like
new people up in my house.

180
00:05:58,459 --> 00:05:59,427
Man, where's Mike?

181
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:01,028
Look, he in
the hospital.

182
00:06:01,128 --> 00:06:03,431
Yeah, his wife found out
his girlfriend pregnant.

183
00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:04,432
Again?

184
00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:06,299
Mm-hmm.
Man, whatever.

185
00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:08,068
Come on, let's go, so I can get
up in this man's pockets.

186
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:10,303
Hey, nice crib, bro...

187
00:06:10,438 --> 00:06:12,205
for this
neighborhood.

188
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:13,441
You got security?

189
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:14,775
We needed
an extra player.

190
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:15,909
Man, you better...

191
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:17,077
(mumbling)

192
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:18,178
Come on!

193
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:20,213
Quit changing
locations, man.

194
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:21,314
Shoot!

195
00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:24,184
Quit talking so much.

196
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:25,586
And stop touching
the potpourri, Trey.

197
00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:34,728
Nah, that's on the real.

198
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:36,196
I ain't got
no reason to lie.

199
00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:37,197
Man, are you gonna
run your mouth,

200
00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:38,466
or are we gonna
play cards?

201
00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:39,700
That's just
rude, player.

202
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,201
I'm in the middle
of telling a story.

203
00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:43,336
So, like I was saying, back when
I used to date Rihanna--

204
00:06:43,471 --> 00:06:44,371
Negro, please.

205
00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:46,139
You ain't date
no damn Rihanna.

206
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,975
You're right,
we didn't date.

207
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,577
It was purely physical.

208
00:06:49,677 --> 00:06:51,579
I was sleazy
before sea-breezy.

209
00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:54,548
One day we was walking
through the rain, right?

210
00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:56,149
And I bought her
an umbrella.

211
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:59,587
Let's just say I was a brick in
the road to her Grammy success.

212
00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:01,254
But I ain't trippin'.

213
00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:02,923
Gentlemen, gentlemen,

214
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,225
would anybody like to
partake in some Pinot Noir

215
00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:07,828
or some Bierdeckel
cheese?

216
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:10,498
What the hell is that?

217
00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:12,265
It's a, uh, cheese
from Switzerland

218
00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:15,368
that's been washed
in wheat beer.

219
00:07:15,503 --> 00:07:18,672
It's semi-soft,
pungent, delicious.

220
00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:23,110
Uh, who is
the corny-ass dude?

221
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:25,312
That's my brother, man,
so ease up on that corny.

222
00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:26,346
Todd, get that
out of here, man.

223
00:07:26,514 --> 00:07:27,380
Hold up, hold up.

224
00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:28,616
You said andquot;semi-soft

225
00:07:28,716 --> 00:07:30,751
Yeah, brother, let me get
a slice right there.

226
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:34,021
Oh, finally someone who
appreciates the finer things.

227
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,322
Did you say Bierdeckel?

228
00:07:35,422 --> 00:07:36,524
'Cause this reminds me of
something we had

229
00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:38,526
when I was locked up.

230
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:41,394
No, it reminds me more of like
a cave-aged Gruyere, actually.

231
00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:42,963
(chuckling)

232
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:45,032
Was you in prison
or a country club?

233
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,567
Depends on which time
you're talking about.

234
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:47,935
Damn, is that
the cheese?

235
00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:50,237
Mm-hmm.

236
00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:51,672
You in, Montel?

237
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,009
I should say not.

238
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:58,846
My poker playing days
are behind me.

239
00:07:58,946 --> 00:08:00,614
When were they
in front of you?

240
00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:02,850
Oh, Anthony, although
we may be brothers,

241
00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:06,086
there's a lot of things
about me you do not know.

242
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:10,257
Like the fact that
you're a virgin

243
00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:12,192
even though you've been
married 20 years?

244
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:14,728
You see, I always wondered why
y'all ain't had no kids.

245
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,164
No freaky-freaky for you.

246
00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:18,566
Now, come on, we gonna joke
or we gonna play?

247
00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:19,567
Yeah, it's on you.

248
00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:21,234
Check.
Check.

249
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,570
Check not.

250
00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:23,937
Bet 50.

251
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:25,973
Raise is up,
make it 100.

252
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:27,374
Y'all can fold that.

253
00:08:27,474 --> 00:08:29,577
I call.

254
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:32,913
Full house,
tens full.

255
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,582
Bam!
Four queens.

256
00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:35,616
What?

257
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:37,217
Yeah.

258
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:38,251
That's how
a do-er play.

259
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,953
Penny for your
thoughts, brother.

260
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:42,990
Beginner's luck, man.

261
00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:44,291
Here, deal the cards.

262
00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:45,358
(Trey)
Gimme some of that.

263
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:47,094
All right.

264
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:50,197
*

265
00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:03,343
* All right

266
00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:05,946
Hold up, hold up.

267
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,448
Ace in your face,
ace in your face.

268
00:09:08,616 --> 00:09:09,650
That looks good,
though...

269
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,084
(whistling)

270
00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:13,520
How could he...

271
00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:30,037
(laughing)

272
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,476
Here we at,
here we at.

273
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,258
* All right

274
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:54,995
Still...

275
00:09:58,565 --> 00:09:59,900
Yes, yes,
I know, I know.

276
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,134
I'm gonna call
you back,

277
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:02,770
maybe from a different
number, though.

278
00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:04,638
Yeah.

279
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:05,873
Do-do-do-do!

280
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:07,641
The number you have
reached is now mine.

281
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,242
Tony won't be
calling you anymore.

282
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,915
Well, brothers,
it's been real.

283
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:17,685
But it's getting late,
and I gots to go.

284
00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:21,621
Trey, you realize you won
every single hand?

285
00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:24,658
Oh, imagine that.

286
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:26,159
Can't believe I lost
all this much money.

287
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:28,028
I was supposed to book tickets
to the Bahamas tomorrow.

288
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,297
Maybe you should try
a andquot;staycation.

289
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,199
I hear the Indian casinos have
family discounts,

290
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,467
and a dope buffet.

291
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:37,905
As for me, I'm going to the
strip club to make it rain.

292
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:40,908
Y'all wanna roll?

293
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:42,109
First lap dance on me.

294
00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:43,543
No, Trey.

295
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,246
I'll see you later,
though.

296
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:48,716
Lisa's gonna kill me.

297
00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:49,850
Ah...

298
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,651
Lisa, Lisa, Lisa.

299
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:54,154
I remember where
I know her from, bro.

300
00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:56,890
Oh, buy her
something nice.

301
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,692
Oh, that's it,
that's it, I'm...

302
00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:00,728
J-J-Just chill out,
let him leave.

303
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,195
Let me put the paws
on him one time.

304
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:03,430
You don't wanna do that,
you don't wanna do that.

305
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:04,865
Just get your
stuff and go.

306
00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:17,878
Man, you make sure he get outta
here without taking nothin'?

307
00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:19,179
Hm-hmm.

308
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,949
He tried to get me
to help him take your couch.

309
00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:23,016
I didn't even do it.

310
00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:26,219
Now, what am I gonna do?

311
00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:28,756
I lost our
entire vacation fund.

312
00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:30,523
See, this is why I don't like
new people coming around.

313
00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:32,659
Hey, I'm out
about a G myself, bro.

314
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:33,761
Yeah, but not five.

315
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,162
And you don't even
have a family.

316
00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:36,764
Wow...

317
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:38,932
That's a low blow, cuz.

318
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,934
And you know I've been
trying for months.

319
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,170
Please work.

320
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:44,537
You're right, my bad.

321
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:46,373
But you're the big
scratch-off winner.

322
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:47,808
This is nothing
to you, right?

323
00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:49,042
Wrong.

324
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:50,911
Between college funds,
investments

325
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:53,413
and begging-ass relatives,
I'm cash-poor.

326
00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:55,182
Then why did you
continue to play?

327
00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:56,283
'Cause I'm a man,
damn it.

328
00:11:57,384 --> 00:12:01,789
Anthony...

329
00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:04,224
do you usually play
with a 60-card deck?

330
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:05,826
What you
talking about?

331
00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:08,028
What?

332
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:11,899
Is that six Kings,
seven different Jacks?

333
00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:13,100
Man, the homie
hustled us!

334
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,667
Oh, I'm gonna
kill him!

335
00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:16,303
After I get my cut.

336
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,437
Where does he live?

337
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:18,671
We're gonna handle
this right now.

338
00:12:18,806 --> 00:12:20,240
I don't know, I ain't never
been to his spot.

339
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,609
Violence will not get
you your money back.

340
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:24,577
I've seen this before.

341
00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:29,049
Say, how you learn how to cut
cards so fast, Bierdeckel?

342
00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:31,384
Yeah... and how come
you didn't do it earlier?

343
00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:32,452
I was.

344
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:33,620
I don't get involved.

345
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,356
I told you, my poker playing
days are being me.

346
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:39,692
I was actually a bit of a
card shark back in the day.

347
00:12:39,827 --> 00:12:41,061
(chuckling)

348
00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:44,697
I first started playing to put
myself through college,

349
00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:47,835
and then I went to Vegas and
joined up with ten individuals,

350
00:12:47,935 --> 00:12:50,470
and we ended up
scamming casinos.

351
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:54,341
They did a movie about it,
it was great--

352
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:55,909
copyright infringement--
it's a big story.

353
00:12:56,009 --> 00:13:01,614
Anyway, after the third time,
it didn't go so well, and, uh,

354
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:04,985
I ended up doing
six months.

355
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:07,120
Ma said you were
on safari.

356
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:11,024
No, but I was in the jungle
with a lot of man-imals.

357
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,593
I know all about that.

358
00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:14,862
Okay, I don't wanna hear
any more about that.

359
00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:16,396
But you gotta
help me get my money back.

360
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:17,397
Mine, too.

361
00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:19,566
Fine, I'll help.

362
00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:21,969
But not because
you two deserve it,

363
00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:24,872
but because he
called me Montel,

364
00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:26,673
and I don't like
Montel.

365
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,111
But I only have
one condition...

366
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:40,253
(knocking on door)

367
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:41,554
What in the world?

368
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:42,956
What is--

369
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:44,424
What, what are you
doing here?

370
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:45,458
Surprise.

371
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,360
How did you get
my address?

372
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:48,695
You-- damn right
it's a surprise.

373
00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:50,097
Yeah, it is.

374
00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:52,132
You didn't think I was gonna
let you destroy my car

375
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:53,800
and damage my body,

376
00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:55,335
and I don't find out
where you live,

377
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:56,937
that I wouldn't
track you down?

378
00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:57,971
Oh, wait a minute.

379
00:13:58,071 --> 00:13:59,272
At the-- you said
you were okay.

380
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,174
What's with the neck brace
and the crutches

381
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:02,475
and the limping
and all that?

382
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:03,510
I did not
hit you that hard.

383
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:05,212
Oh, well, yes,
hell, you did.

384
00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:06,914
Yes, hell, you did.
You remember?

385
00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:08,148
Your potato chips flying
all around in your car?

386
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:09,249
Uh-huh.

387
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,283
You probably
had the munchies.

388
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:11,318
Yeah, I bet you
was high.

389
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:12,819
You're probably
high now, huh?

390
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,587
You look high-- that's why
you got that shirt mismatched.

391
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:15,655
What are you
talking about?

392
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:16,756
What is going on
out here?

393
00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:17,925
Uh, Tony, uh...
you know what?

394
00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:19,559
I'll handle this,
I got this covered.

395
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:20,928
Don't you have something
you need to do?

396
00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,329
As a matter of fact,
no, I don't.

397
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:23,463
What's going on?

398
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:24,797
I'm gonna tell you
what's going on.

399
00:14:24,932 --> 00:14:26,233
Little Miss Mismatch here

400
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,936
decides that she wants to
ram into the back of me,

401
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:31,604
and I'm hurt.

402
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,406
Did you get into a car
accident and not tell me?

403
00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:34,807
What, huh?

404
00:14:34,942 --> 00:14:37,010
Well-- okay, see,
what happened was--

405
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:38,378
You know what,
you know what?

406
00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:39,379
It's okay,
it's all right.

407
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:40,447
I forgive you.

408
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:41,949
You do?
Mm-hmm.

409
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:43,250
'Cause I got
some news, too.

410
00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:45,953
I lost our entire vacation
fund playing poker.

411
00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:47,387
(man)
Ooh!

412
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:48,855
You know the first rule
of poker is never gamble

413
00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:51,258
with more than you can
afford to lose.

414
00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:52,859
First rule is
you don't know me.

415
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,127
Second rule is,
do you want a wheelchair

416
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,162
to go with them crutches?

417
00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:56,763
Ouch!

418
00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:58,131
Tony, I cannot
believe you--

419
00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,299
Ah, da da da da da!

420
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,433
We're even.

421
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:01,969
Oh, please, mine was just
a mild collision.

422
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:03,803
What the hell you--
mild, my ass!

423
00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:04,871
What are you talking
about, mild?

424
00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:06,273
This look mild to you?

425
00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:07,674
I went and saw my mechanic
today, and guess what?

426
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:11,744
He told me that the damage to my
bumper was gonna be $1500.

427
00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:12,980
(both)
$1500?

428
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:14,614
That's right--
Ouch!

429
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:16,583
And I'm estimating
the doctor bill

430
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:18,751
to come in at
another two G's.

431
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:19,987
Oh, please.

432
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:22,055
How did you even have
time to go to a doctor?

433
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:23,756
And how did you find out
where I live?

434
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:26,026
Don't even worry
about that.

435
00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:28,061
All you need to know is
that I checked y'all out

436
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:30,263
on the internet.

437
00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:31,731
Yeah, y'all think
you're all slick, huh?

438
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:34,001
Living all up here,
high and mighty.

439
00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:37,070
Y'all came up on a little
scratch-off lottery ticket, huh?

440
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:38,871
So, don't play with me,
just get to writin'.

441
00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:40,007
Check, check it,
check it.

442
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,808
Okay, it's all good,
it's all good.

443
00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:42,809
I believe you.

444
00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:43,910
What?
You believe him?

445
00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:45,012
Give us a moment.

446
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:46,413
Is that what it is?

447
00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:48,748
Listen, it's obvious that
he's trying to fleece us.

448
00:15:48,848 --> 00:15:50,050
Yes, obviously.

449
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:52,485
There is no way I did $1500
worth of damage to his car.

450
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:54,021
I have a plan.

451
00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:55,522
Do you trust
your man?

452
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:56,556
I don't have
too many options.

453
00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:57,590
True that.

454
00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:59,559
(man)
She outta line.

455
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:01,161
It's all good, brother.

456
00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:04,064
So, uh, what was that
you said, 3,500?

457
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:05,298
Oh, it's like that?

458
00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:06,899
Yeah, is it
like that?

459
00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:07,900
Oh, this ain't nothing.

460
00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:09,669
I lost 5,000
playing poker.

461
00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:10,870
(both)
5,000!

462
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:12,039
Mm-hmm.

463
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:13,473
They call me
the LeBron James of poker.

464
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:15,275
Yeah, well, go ahead, LeBron,
cut that for me.

465
00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:18,078
I wanna take my talents
to South Beach.

466
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,913
So, uh, what should I make
it out to, Mister...

467
00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:22,449
Uh, Mr. Cash.

468
00:16:22,549 --> 00:16:23,616
C-a-s-h, period.

469
00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:25,718
Okay, Mr. Cash.

470
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:26,786
Here you go.

471
00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:27,887
Yeah, I like that.

472
00:16:28,055 --> 00:16:29,289
You know, I play
a little poker myself.

473
00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:30,890
Do you now?
Oh, yeah.

474
00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:33,526
Well, if you're' serious, we got
a game tonight around 8:00.

475
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:34,727
I don't know, man.

476
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,463
Look like I need to quit
while I'm ahead, huh?

477
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:38,731
Hey, hey.
What the hell?

478
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,267
See, now that's how
people get shot.

479
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:41,534
Oh, Anthony,
if you try to shoot me,

480
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:42,769
I'd just do a Matrix
on you.

481
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:45,238
Whoo!

482
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,606
Anyway, did I leave
my cardigan here?

483
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:48,075
The one with the little
Snoopys on it?

484
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:49,076
No.

485
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:50,210
Oh, darn it.

486
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:51,711
Guess I'll just have to
get a new one.

487
00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:53,180
It's only money, right?

488
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:54,547
Are we still on
for poker tonight?

489
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:55,982
Sure.

490
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:57,984
Oh, good.
I've got goose bumps.

491
00:16:58,085 --> 00:16:59,619
I can't wait.

492
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:01,888
Hey, is this guy playing
in the game tonight?

493
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:02,889
Yeah.

494
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:04,891
Okay, I'll see you
tonight then.

495
00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:06,426
I'll be here for sure.

496
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:07,494
Mm!

497
00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:09,362
Ouch!

498
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:10,430
Ooh!

499
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:11,464
Who was that?

500
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:13,266
Don't worry about it.

501
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:14,734
You just better be as good
as you say you are.

502
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:16,903
Oh, and by the way,
great timing.

503
00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:17,970
Thank you.

504
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:26,379
Tony, you're just a glutton
for punishment, huh?

505
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:28,115
Nah, I just want some of
my money back.

506
00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:29,616
Yeah, me, too.

507
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,884
I see Jason Kidd's
playing tonight.

508
00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:33,453
And what's your story,
old man?

509
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,388
I'm just here for
the company, bro.

510
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,590
I feel ya.

511
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:40,260
Okay, gentlemen, let's get
this party started.

512
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,668
Man, this is horrible.

513
00:17:48,768 --> 00:17:49,736
Man, I'm out.

514
00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:50,837
Ouch!

515
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,174
What you got, partner?

516
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:58,878
Straight.

517
00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:01,148
Straight flush,
Jiminy Cricket.

518
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:07,420
*

519
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:19,966
(laughing)

520
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,013
(laughing)

521
00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:44,191
(mumbling)

522
00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:49,596
* All right

523
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:54,534
(laughing)

524
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:57,770
Hell, Trey.

525
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:08,715
* All right

526
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:24,964
Hey, man,
that's enough for me.

527
00:19:25,064 --> 00:19:26,966
Here...

528
00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:29,001
I endorsed the check
over to you.

529
00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:31,238
You out?

530
00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:32,305
Hell, yeah.

531
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:33,740
If I play another hand,

532
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,409
I'll be forced pawn my wife's
wedding ring, again.

533
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,246
Man, this is
a bunch of bull.

534
00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:40,680
You guys can have this.

535
00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:45,352
I don't need that.

536
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,556
This isn't making
any sense.

537
00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:51,558
Oh, yeah?
Why is that?

538
00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,159
You're not used to somebody
cheating better than you?

539
00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:54,561
Cheating-- what?
Ain't nobody cheatin'.

540
00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:55,795
Man, you better put your--
hold up.

541
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:56,863
No, no, you--

542
00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:58,265
Oh, no.
Get up!

543
00:19:58,298 --> 00:19:59,766
Look at this.

544
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,701
Fellas, for real, I don't know
how those cards got here, man.

545
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:03,002
Y'all crazy.

546
00:20:03,102 --> 00:20:04,504
Look here,
this is ridiculous.

547
00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:06,473
I'm just gonna-- okay, I'm just
gonna sit right here.

548
00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:08,541
Uh, look here,
ain't no need to get violent.

549
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:09,609
Y'all won your
money back, right?

550
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:10,677
Mm-hmm.
Cool.

551
00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:11,678
I don't even
know your wife.

552
00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:12,779
Watch.

553
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:14,447
She fine-- I had to give
the brother a try.

554
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:15,748
I don't know the bond
of your relationship, man.

555
00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:17,116
I didn't know the strength
of your union.

556
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,085
Um, uh, no harm,
no foul, right?

557
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:21,153
Gimme a shake on it.

558
00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:22,455
Uh, okay, uh, wait, wait,
I got your phone.

559
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:23,523
I got your phone for you,
brother.

560
00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:24,657
I got your phone
right here, here you go.

561
00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:25,758
Right there.

562
00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:27,126
That ain't my phone.

563
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,328
That's from another game.

564
00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:29,962
Okay, check this out
right here, I got this one.

565
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,063
How about this
right here?

566
00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:32,231
This is yours, right?
Yeah.

567
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:33,232
Okay, anytime minutes
still intact?

568
00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:34,401
Yeah, you're straight.

569
00:20:34,501 --> 00:20:35,802
I didn't delete the contacts,
you're good.

570
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,337
What about your watch?
I got your watch right here.

571
00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:38,771
Okay, so, we're
gonna call it even--

572
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:40,507
we ain't gonna call it a night,
okay, look here.

573
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:42,675
Help me out brother.
You ain't gonna help me out?

574
00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:44,911
Oh, oh, oh, no!

575
00:20:45,011 --> 00:20:46,846
Nobody calls me Montel.

576
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:48,681
Nobody, you little
marionette.

577
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:50,717
Ah, man, you, too,
Jack Johnson?

578
00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:58,057
Yeah, I gotta
hand it to you, Tony.

579
00:20:58,157 --> 00:21:00,827
You said you would get
the money back, and you did.

580
00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:02,429
Yeah, see what happens
when you trust your man?

581
00:21:02,529 --> 00:21:04,196
Now, let's make love
on top of all this cash.

582
00:21:04,331 --> 00:21:05,432
Come on, make it
rain on me.

583
00:21:05,532 --> 00:21:06,766
Nope.

584
00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:07,867
I'm still
mad at you.

585
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:10,403
What?
You were wrong, too.

586
00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:12,439
I told you not to play poker,
and you did anyway.

587
00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:15,342
You're just lucky
Todd bailed you out.

588
00:21:15,408 --> 00:21:16,709
How'd you get him
to help you, anyway?

589
00:21:20,246 --> 00:21:22,349
All right.

590
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:26,719
Who's ready
for the Bahamas?

591
00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:29,155
Honey, don't forget my
dehumidifier.

592
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:33,125
This is gonna be a
Bacchanalian delight.

593
00:21:33,225 --> 00:21:34,260
(laughing)